Out with the Old, In with the New

Another Christmas has come and gone, (hope you all enjoyed yourselves and Santa was generous) and a new year beckons.

For many people, once the presents, the turkey and the family arguments are over and done with, the main focus of the festive season is the TV. Once upon a time, the big treat at Christmas time was the television debut of a hit movie. This, of course was in the days before cable, DVD’s and almost simultaneous TV and cinema releases. These days, the closest we get to a previously unseen Christmas treat is the annual Dr Who episode. This year’s offering did not disappoint with killer snowmen, a new assistant and a new look for the interior of the Tardis.

Aside from the Doctor’s festive shenanigans, programmers had to work extra hard to retain our interest and, by and large, I think they did a fine job. We had seasonal editions of Downton Abbey, Miranda, Him and Her, Outnumbered and Call the Midwife.  There was the excellent two-part wartime spy drama, Restless, a Snowman sequel, The Snowman and the Snowdog, and an adaptation of David Walliam’s novel, Mr Stink. All great entertainment, but Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without a bit of Eric and Ern and this year we were rather spoilt for choice.

For more than forty years, The Morecambe and Wise Show has been right at the top of the Christmas tree. Despite the fact that their last show was made in 1983, the pair have been appearing on our screens ever since. This year we were treated to a re-run of their 1973 Christmas shoe plus a five part series that looked at every aspect of their career and featured rare and unseen sketches from their families’ personal archives.

As I sat and gloried in their inane antics for the umpteenth time with no noticeable diminishing of the enjoyment factor, it occurred to me that the one thing that could stop the Eric and Ern extravaganza from continuing forevermore is the guest stars.

The highlight of any Morecambe and Wise Show is the humiliation heaped upon a plethora of willing celebrities. But as the fun unfolded this year, there must have been a whole generation of viewers for whom the appearances of Glenda Jackson, Shirley Bassey, Hannah Gordon and John Hanson must have elicited nothing more than a baffled: ‘Who?’

That, in turn, prompted the question,if Eric and Ern were still with us today, who would they invite onto their show? In these days of image conscious, paparazzi plagued, prima donna’s, who would willingly subject themselves to that sort of ritual humiliation?

Stephen Fry was the first to come to mind. Matt Smith, Billy Connolly, Rowan Atkinson, Philip Glenister, all, I’m sure, would revel in the fun. And the ladies? Sheridan Smith, Victoria Wood, Julie Walters and Miranda Hart would all make perfect foils.

But even with the guest stars in place, who, these days would be capable of writing that particular, non-offensive, multi-generational type of humour? Morecambe and Wise’s most successful and long standing scriptwriter, Eddie Braben is still with us, but, at 82, he may feel the strain of producing even one Christmas show was too much. So, who could step into his shoes? Perhaps One Foot in the Grave creator, David Renwick might be persuaded to turn in a sketch or two. I think Marks and Gran are still available. David Walliams and Matt Lucas maybe and I’m sure Miranda Hart and Victoria Wood could rustle up a chuckle or two in the right style.

Not that any of that matters if the two essential ingredients are missing. Who on earth could replace Eric and Ern? The answer, obviously, is Eric and Ern.

A company called Musion is on the verge of creating holograms so realistic that there is already talk of resurrecting deceased rock stars such as Freddie Mercury (now there is an Eric and Ern guest star if ever there was one) who could actually perform alongside their surviving band mates without anyone seeing the join as it were. Why not apply the same technology to Eric and Ern?

So there we have it. My New Year gift to the nation. A holographic Morecambe and Wise, a willing line-up of guest stars and top writing talent to provide the jokes. Problem solved, Christmas entertainment is now guaranteed forever.

Have a happy New Year.

Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing?

The American Comedian Steven Wright once said:-  

It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.

Which is as pithy and as accurate a definition of human perception as you are likely to find in any of the hundreds of philosophy books crowding the shelves of your local bookshop.

Perceptions, of course, change over time and his comment came to mind recently as the aftermath of the Jimmy Savile allegations rumble on, engulfing an increasing number of celebrities both old and new.

It must be said that no-one has been convicted of anything yet and all remain innocent until proven guilty, which is quite right and proper. Although I’d be willing to bet that any number of scriptwriters are tapping away, just waiting for some sort of verdict, so that they can be the first to submit a treatment for a bio-doc to all the major production companies.

The closest thing to any sort of public comment to date has been:-

Things were different back then.

Perception, you see, which, to paraphrase Monty Python, is the real life equivalent of saying:-

It’s a fair cop, but society is to blame.

Now, I’m no historian, but I’d be willing to bet that ‘things were different’ back in the 14^th century too. In those days, a favourite method of extracting confessions was the Thumbscrew, a charming device where the fingers of the hand were inserted in a metal clamp with a screw on top, which, when turned…well, you get the picture.

So, if you happen to be a celebrity anxiously awaiting that knock on the door, you may well take comfort in the fact that ‘things were different back then’, but now they have changed. For the better.

HIM AND HER

The American sit-com Seinfeld was famously publicised as ‘The Show About Nothing’ . Writer Stefan Golaszewski obviously took that as a challenge and produced his own show about nothing, Him and Her.

 I will freely admit that I never saw the point of Seinfeld and was bemused by the collective euphoria that hailed it as the best sit-come ever, but Him and Her is an absolute gem, hidden away in the depths of BBC 3 and is one of the best sit-coms currently showing on British TV whether home grown or imported. So, what’s it about, you ask? Well…nothing really. You see, there’s this couple who live in this grotty flat. They have no jobs, no ambition and a lack of hygiene that is frankly scary. They just sit about all day and get visited by various friends and relations. That’s it. But it’s hilarious.

You would have to go all the way back to Steptoe and Son and Hancocks Half Hour to find a better, one room sit-com that puts human relationships under such an intense microscope. There are no elaborate plots, no huge punch-lines, just an embarrassingly intense scrutiny of the minutiae of daily life.

Russell Tovey as Steve and Sarah Solemani as Becky have perfected the art of looking both vacant and bemused at the same time to such an extent that it is impossible to imagine anyone else playing those parts. Whilst they and their scruffy flat are the focal point it is the constant parade of grotesques that comprise their family and friends who steal the show and do their utmost to disrupt the pair’s lacklustre existence.

Next door neighbour, Dan, (Joe Wilkinson) is a walking text book of personality disorders and Shelly, (Camille Coduri) has so little self-esteem she may as well have ‘doormat’ tattooed across her forehead. The burgeoning romance between these two sensitive and damaged souls is both touching and a little bit creepy! At the other end of the spectrum, Becky’s soon to be brother in law, Paul, (Ricky Champ) is a seething mass of barely repressed violence, which makes him the perfect foil for the shows real scene stealer, Becky’s vicious, self-absorbed, self-deluded sister Laura, (Kerry Howard).  This is an outrageous, jaw dropping, gem of a role that Howard plays to perfection and to the possible detriment of her future career. Who on earth would want to be typecast as Laura for the rest of their lives? On the other hand, who could resist playing such a joyously unlikeable character?

The main credit for all this must go to the creator and writer, Stefan Golaszewski whose wonderfully nuances script keeps spinning gold out of thin air. The episode where Steve finally plucks up the courage to propose to Becky and Shelly finally gives Laura the telling off she richly deserves, only to have it fall on predictably deaf ears must rate as one of the top ten sit-com episodes ever.

It may never achieve the iconic status of a Blackadder or a Porridge but it’s now on its third season with no apparent reduction in the (lack of) plot devices. Long may it continue.

FINE AND DANDY

On Tuesday 4^th December 2012, the very last issue of The Dandy was published, ending seventy-five years of continuous publication. How ironic that this staple of childhood entertainment should bite the dust when comics in general have never been more popular.

Movies based on comic book characters have a stranglehold on multiplexes world-wide (Avengers Assemble, The Dark Knight Rises and The Amazing Spider-Man this year alone) and TV has been quick to jump on the bandwagon with series such as Smallville, Arrow and The Human Target all based on comic book originals. 

The Dandy’s publisher D C Thompson assure us that this is not the end for Desperate Dan, Korky the Cat and friends. They are simply succumbing to the march of progress and entering the digital world. Inevitable I guess given that The Dandy sold 8,000,000 copies per week at the height of its popularity in the 1950’s and nowadays can manage only a paltry 175,000. But somehow it just won’t be the same.

I’m sure that when Stan Lee kick started the modern age of comic books in 1962 with the publication of Fantastic Four #1, he had no idea just how big a tidal wave of public perception he had instigated. The intervening decades have seen comic books progress from being the sole preserve of pre-teens to the ‘cool’ accoutrement of College students and now they are firmly ensconced at the top of every media moguls want list. They have even gate-crashed the literary establishment with two (not one, but two!) graphic works, Days of the Bagnold Summer by Joff Winterhart and Dotter of her Father’s Eyes by Mary and Bryan Talbot  shortlisted for the Costa Book Awards for the first time ever.

The fact that The Dandy has steadfastly stuck to its guns and changed its format hardly at all during its lifetime may well be both its greatest strength and its fatal flaw. As our American cousins tie themselves in knots trying to explain away impossible continuity glitches, (why Batman, who debuted in 1939, still swings a mean batrope even though he’s pushing a hundred has been a favourite question of fanboys since forever), The Dandy has blissfully ignored the laws of time and physics and carried on doing what its always done which is to provide innocent, silly, funny and comforting entertainment. But not any more.

The British comic book industry is largely overlooked in favour of the American product, despite the fact that many of the top selling titles in America are in the creative hands of British talent and have been for many years. Alan Moore, Andy Diggle and Grant Morrison to name but a few.

This wealth of home grown talent was not enough to save The Dandy, but it should be remembered that seventy-five years is a publishing feat pretty much unequalled in the annals of comic book publishing and is unlikely to ever be equalled again except possibly by The Dandy’s stablemate The Beano, another underrated and little acknowledged title.

So, as Desperate Dan marches into the sunset, let’s hold our heads up and salute a unique British publishing achievement. The Dandy may be gone, but it will not be forgotten.

Welcome

Hello, and welcome to Thinking Allowed.

If you can watch it, read it or hear it, chances are I'll be talking about it at some point. Books, TV, films, music, comic books, they'll all pretty much come under the spotlight. Hope you enjoy it.
Gary